Gayani Jayathilake

“The music is not in the notes, but in the silence in between.”

Wolfgang Mozart

When everything falls apart, when your beloved world around you feels like it is collapsing and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, what can you really do? I do not mean mild simple day to day problems with solutions. I mean when you are in a total burnout and there is literally nowhere to hold on to. That feeling of helplessness can drag you down the deepest pit you would have ever encountered in your lifetime.

When you are in such a low spot having nowhere to go, the best thing to do is nothing. Yes. You heard me right the first time. Be absolutely still. Don’t be afraid to stop. You already deserve all the credit for having to face such nastiness in the first place. The illness you know you have. The relationship that gives you pain.  The work that has gone haywire.  It’s time to give yourself a break. And find that gap between the notes that is music. The calm within the gap.

Everyone knows, life moves forward. Not backward. And whether we like it or not, it will go on moving forward with or without us.  And we have just two choices. Either fall deeper into the pit or pick ourselves up and move on.

But right before that choice comes a moment, where you are feeling the worst possible feelings one can feel. Feeling helpless, feeling trapped, having nowhere to reach out to. Basically claustrophobic within a cluster of problems. And this can scare the  living daylights out of you. When life begins to collapse around you and there is absolutely nothing you can do, you hit a wall. A thick strong wall. That surrounds you and has slowly begun to engulf you.

In that moment, just stop. Just be calm.  Do nothing. And be at peace with yourself for a while. Be absolutely still. Or! If you do not know how to stop, grab a hold of that tiny speck of solace.  Do something that helps you be within that calm stillness. Just sit down and watch the sunset. Sit down and drink a cup of hot cocoa.  Before even beginning to move on,  we anyway need to calm the hell down.  And believe it or not, doing the simplest thing you know can help you get there. Never underestimate the small things in life. They are what will get you through the toughest times in life.  Because you deserve that much. You deserve to just be still and calm.

Have you ever noticed those calm little places that caught your attention in the past? Like that cozy little fireplace. Like that comfy cup of hot tea. Like that comforting bedtime story book you read as a child, and still reach out to. That calm parent or sibling you watch to try and see if you can copy. The cozy enjoyment in watching that small bumblebee doing the rolley polley on that powdery pollen with sumo wrestling orange padded pollen baskets. The calm between the rustle of the thousands of  tiny birch leaves in the bantering wind.

It’s all really a type of temporary meditation.  When we stop and listen or watch, there is solace in those small but golden moments.

When you are in that mess, where you are shackled to one rooted spot, where you can do absolutely nothing about what life has thrown your way, you have nothing else to do, but wait. Yes. That’s right. Just wait. What more can you do? Stop. Wait. Find that gap somewhere in between. Or find that one thing you like to do the most that will calm your nerves and help you find that stillness. The silence in between the notes. For within those calm gaps of silence are your answers. Just be calm and sip that hot cup of cocoa till you do.